2014-03-04

In a World...

 In a world....


...where James Bond goes up against female super-villains such as Sophie Marceau (Elektra Vavra King)...

'Q' must provide him with a whole series of new weapons and deadly gizmos...

...to fight the insidious advancing gynocracy and its sexy minions...
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Q: Now 007, as you recall on your last mission, we supplied you with the Hot Potato which has the triple advantage of being concealable in your skivvies for when you're stripped down in order to seduce an evil super-vixen, and when so concealed has an hypnotic sexual effect on said super-villainess, and you can throw it at her to distract her so you can make your escape

007: a sort of "hand-to-hand combat" you might say   [with a panty-melting Scottish brogue]

Q: yes, hysterical as always, 007, but I'm sure you also recall that this gizmo had certain drawbacks as well.

007: first among which is that I wound up with second-degree burns on my wedding tackle!

Q: Precisely!  Which is why on your next mission we're equipping you with this: The Mattress Bomb!!

007:  Are the explosives concealed underneath the ticking?

Q: No, 007, the ticking IS the bomb.

007: I feel I should try to make a joke of some sort about being able to take out a half-dozen super-villainesses in one go, but I don't think I have it in me.

Q: And I feel I should try to make some kind of joke about the double-entendre you just made about whether you "have it in you", but Graham Chapman's been dead since 1989.

[cue James Bond music...] 

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