Talking at Myself

What is my self-talk?
What do I say to myself?
If the words of his mouth
Are what defileth a  man
How much more so
The words I say to me?

Only someone who truly loves you
Would take the trouble
To say these things to you
To torture you so kindly
To kick you so lovingly
To stick in the knife
And twist it with such tenderness

I must carry on the tradition
I cannot let it die
The noble love of my ancestors
We are bound to one another
By a hatred of ourselves
And of each other

How can I escape?
How can I climb out of the world itself?
How can I see outside the air I live in?
Are there people beyond this place?
Can I ever learn to speak their language?

The good thing about self-hatred
Is that you become willing to try anything
To brave any peril
To endure any hardship
Even without knowing
What the other side is going to be like

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(4/19)
April is National Poetry Writing Month