2012-04-27

What Goes Around Comes Around

An intact man feels the earth beneath his feet
While a cut man is on ice skates
There's a wall at the edge of the rink
Both walk and skate toward it
And crash into it
It takes practice to have control
To slow down before hitting the wall
To skate or walk back and forth before it
Before finally hopping over it
It takes practice

Otherwise it is a roller coaster
Fast and thrilling and out of control
And over quickly

Instead of like skiing
Sometimes fast, sometimes out of control
Controlling the thrill level
Even slowing or stopping in the middle
Controlling when to reach the end
How fast and how long it lasts
It takes practice

Some practice off the hill is good
Overwhelming sensation is hard to get past
With a lover
The excitement when it's about to happen
How she takes off her clothes
How she looks naked
The ecstatic pain and pleasure
Of the real and unreal juxtaposed
The smooth, warm press of bodies
Many hit the wall even then
Some feel they must rush through foreplay
For fear they will never make it out the other side
It takes practice
And the willingness not to be selfish

Passage to the act
The moment of entry
Surrounded on all sides
Enveloped
An overwhelming explosion
The feeling of being drawn in
The feeling of wanting more, more, more
But too much of a good thing and it's over
It's hard to stop and just be here
To stop and rest in that warm joyful place
To remember this is an option
It's not a man's way of doing things
But it's not a job to get done
It takes practice
And the willingness not to be selfish

The cut man who stops
May not be able to start again
May not be able to get to the wall
No matter how long and hard he try
Or he may fall and can't get back up
Sometimes the ice skates can't push against anything

Without three-quarters of your vision
No colors, only light and shadow
Awkwardly bumping into things
One quarter the feeling in your hands
No textures, no typing, writing
Feeling , grasping objects, impossible
This is what the cut man faces
When he tries to make love
The intact man has the opposite problem

It takes practice
It's not enough to say, "Just do it (me)"
"Just do what you're doing a little longer"
It takes kindness
And knowing what kindness means
And the willingness not to be selfish

(4/26)
April is National Poetry Writing Month

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