模倣子 Neologisms

After-Birth Party: n. a gathering of friends and well-wishers right after the baby is born, where they cook and eat the placenta. Typically arranged by the midwife.

Blivit: n. Two pounds of shit in a one-pound bag. (From the JAD lexicon)

Charity Giggles: n. Laughing when something's not really funny, just to be nice. Also a good stripper name.

Choloaches: n. extra-badass cockroaches.

Coincidence: n. When you have exact change. As opposed to "coïncidence".

Constipated expression: n. A pattern declaration that fails to recognize the string class you want it to. Opposite: Regular expression.

Contweeze: adj., v. Able to be expressed pithily in 140 characters or less, or to skillfully edit something down to 140 characters.

dramapolize: v. to grab all the attention by emoting excessively over someone else's pain, especially a pain that one cannot fully grasp.

dramapolize: v. also, to grab all the attention by exaggeratedly inflating and harping on one's own relatively petty and mundane goings-on.

grubsnark: n. One who pontificates to those who know more about the subject than they do. An arrogant beggar. v. To pontificate to the more knowledgeable. To beg as though the victim of one's begging is obliged to comply or should feel guilty not to.

koodaranorm: n. v., to behave like everyone should know about/practice some stupid, flash-in-the-pan fad, also such a fad itself.

koodaranormal: adj. a stupid fad is now commonplace, e.g., bacon on everything, nachos at movies, or saying "I know, right?" or "awesome".

koodaranormalization: n. the process or evolution whereby a stupid fad or practice becomes accepted or even obligatory.

Masturbrainstorming: n. The act of brainstorming, or thinking up new ideas, by oneself.

Needologism. n. a new word for a thing that lacks a word for it, eg, pretendian, born-againdian, tetrising, 'snerd, grubsnark, needologism

Tainothangism. n. an invented word for a thing that doesn't really exist, eg, snowbesity, dirty sanchez, etc.

Self-defecation: n. 1. Deluding oneself, usually self-servingly 2. Humiliating oneself by metaphorically or actually pooping one's own pants

 

Socially infertile: adj. having a personality so repulsive that no one will have sex with you. n. Social infertility.

"They're a few pennies short of exact change."

"Goes in the canoe": said of a thing so useful as to be worth carrying on a major human migration, eg, cannabis, yams, the axe, etc.

sirma'am/ma'amsir: v., n.: to address a transsexual by their target gender, also one who manages to consistently get addressed in target gender.

Purrcumcision: n. depriving cats of their full range of expression and feeling.

Do-goody-two-shoes: n. One who demands gratitude and recognition for things which others did not ask for or for telling others how to behave

 

Postcipitation: n. what remains after snow, rain, hail, etc., e.g., "Is it raining now? No, but there's still some postcipitation around"

 Ortho-feminism: n. a philosophy of actually trying to liberate end empower women, as opposed to institutionalizing female victimhood status.

football emotions: n. the only emotions that American males are ever allowed to freely express, i.e., anger, lust, or exultation.

Polterware: n. Surreptitiously-installed software which, while not seriously malicious, is annoying and sometimes frightening or worrying.

Compunctuation: n. Emoticons or other punctuation marks which express the writer's guilt, shame, or remorse. Example: (-.-!)

Fallacy-of-the-last-movie: when a sequel tries to explain magical premises the audience already suspended disbelief about in the last film.

Single-malt metaphor: n. Contrasted with double-malt metaphor or mixed metaphor, eg "on the rocks". May also be a neat single-malt metaphor.

Double-malt metaphor: n. Metaphors combined for emphasis, eg, "scratching the tip of the iceberg". Opp. Single-malt metaphor

 

Los Angeles Carpool: n. a.k.a. "L.A. Carpool," a carpool in which everyone takes their own car.

Cupid's vellum: n. The illusion that someone one is attracted to has much more perfect skin than they really do.

momery: n. embarrassing things that moms remember from their children's childhood and bring up at the most awkward moments possible.

 

Patter Nostra: n. Having a light-hearted, chatty, back-and-forth, give-and-take, conversational relationship with G-d. Mysticism.

 stereotypically impossible: adj. a fact or idea which runs counter to received cultural wisdom or widespread belief and thus cannot be true

 politically impossible: adj. 1. a fact or idea deemed incorrect simply for running counter to "Political Correctness" or other dogma

politically impossible: adj. 2. an idea, usually meritorious, unacceptable to the powers-that-be or deemed unimplementable by same.

exspectrumation: n. things you assume somebody's going to do because you suspect they're autistic.

 web-grazing: v. absently following every link on every web page, all the links on those pages, indiscriminately viewing everything.

"shittin' in tall cotton" is another good expression which I use a lot. To be in a good situation, have no worries about a given problem.

"to feel like you been rid hard and put away wet" グタグタ(guta-guta)疲れたかの様、タレタレ(NOT tare-tare)よりむしろ。

Redneck quotes: "raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock."

Redneck quotes: "slicker than snot on a doorknob". It's funny how quickly the Age of Chivalry is revived when there's snot on the doorknob.

Irrationalization: n. Trying to justify something which is fundamentally absurd.

Prostidigitation: n. Making an ostensible offer of sexual favors in exchange for money, but then not actually doing it, e.g. bikini barrista

Dumbassifist: n. One who is unable to successfully take part in a Battle of Wits.

 Aggressive Pseudo-Intellectualism: n. actively challenging others to throw-downs on subjects one is ill-versed in to prove own smartiness

Felinventory: n., v. Checking that all of the cats are inside and accounted for before leaving the house.

 

 Imposnerd: n. One pretending to be a nerd sans actual nerd cred. Also "posnerd" or "snerd".

 逸話回転率 (itsuwa-kaiten-ritsu): "anecdote repetition rate" n. The time before a person will tell you a story you already heard over again.

 recursive: 1. adj. of or pertaining to what one does when somebody doesn't respond to the first time one swears at them.

recursive: 2. v. re-writing something because somebody said they can't read your handwriting, or are just an illiterate dill-hole.

 

Matribromy: n. An intimate domestic union between two male friends.

 

Horning Glory: n. A deceptively flowery creeping noxious weed that always tries to steal the limelight.

 

Preggelation: n. The act of revealing to someone that you are pregnant.

Preggevelation: n. The act of revealing to someone that you are pregnant.

squirrel mitzvah: n. kindness to flying mammals. See also bat mitzvah.

assholy: adj. sanctimoniously preachy and self-righteously condescending in justifying harming others with one's own superstitious beliefs

Menscha: a very exclusive organization where to join you must be both super-smart and a good, upstanding Jewish man.

Massagynist: n. A body worker who only treats women.

Sexgnostic: adj. Not discriminating by gender.

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模倣子 Memetic Essays -  Memetic Index