Wanted for Hire

God, higher power, guiding spirit or guardian angel to serve as personal deity, object of and focus for spiritual devotion, and motivation for ongoing personal spiritual growth.

Must be loving, forgiving, all-powerful, all-knowing, and have a sense of humor. Must be a team player – no prima donnas. Must be here-and-now rather than hereafter oriented, and should be a firm yet gentle guide to daily peace, acceptance, and serenity regardless of circumstances. Must be willing to work irregular hours and weekends as required.

No taboos, please, but rituals, pilgrimages, occasional fasting or other observances and devotions are negotiable. Must not require inordinate blood or other sacrifices, self-mutilation of any kind, self-flagellation or other forms of penance, affectation of speech or gesture, or the wearing of special clothing or talismans.

No homophobes, misogynists, bigots, racists, prudes, ethnocentrists, eschatologists, status quo apologists, nihilists, paternalists, fire-and-brimstoners, evil or “Satanicky” deities need apply.

Interested applicants should interview/audition in person or as an avatar via spiritual vision or dream, moment of clarity, sudden inspiration, serendipitous coincidence, or other form of visitation. No appointment necessary. Offer void where prohibited.

Creative Commons License
Wanted for Hire by Jay Dearien is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.


  1. This needs to be cross-posted. How about a special copyright notice on this to allow it to be posted elsewhere with attribution, and a link? Or just give me the right to cross-post it? Like, on our BMC webpage.

  2. Sound good. A link would be good. I've heard of a website called "Common [something]" that handles web copyrights -- have you heard of that? I gather that it can generate some kind of a tag that can be added to a page like this.

  3. I think I found it. It's http://creativecommons.org/

  4. If you click on the copyright link icon above, it will give you a bit of attribution html code that you can put on your page.

  5. That is cool! What do you think about the arguments of http://softwareliberationfront.org/?
    Has the FSF become overweening? They say it has been suing legit open source projects that don't have the resources to maintain complete compliance with the GPL.

  6. I was unaware of the SLF; thanks for bringing it to my attention. I read the Thomas Jefferson link, too. There were some lines in there that also appear in some Wesleyan hymns we used to sing. It reminds me of the Japanese saying, 見ても減らない。[even if you let me look, what you have does not decrease].