There is a thing which I call "The Female Legitimization Effect," for example, if women are also riding skateboards or playing D&D, not just watching, that makes it "a thing," and not just a bunch of idiot wanker guys throwing rocks at each others' heads and calling it a cool activity. Who is the Ladies' Man's audience? Certainly other men, if not others. Having women around telegraphs that whatever you're doing, it's a valid, good thing to be doing, and it telegraphs power. Tricking women in order to have this appearance seems rather pathetic, not just dishonest, since it seems like an addiction like many others, for example, addiction to gambling.
On the FLE, Gloria Steinem came to the U of Idaho for a talk, and we had a sort of chat during the Q&A for about ten minutes, and I mentioned that the Vichy French in Morocco mounted stiff resistance to Patton's landing for the better part of a couple of days before surrendering. Patton was mystified since there was no misunderstanding that he was at the head of a liberating force. He was told by his guide/interpreter that they had to make a show since their women had not made love to them for the previous two years for surrendering to and collaborating with the Nazis. Hence, in a Patton bio, as well as his journals, and no doubt in military communiqués we see men's need to get approval, permission from women for their actions. As appears in this video about minute seven, men cannot be free until women are free, and this might be kind of how it works. If women cosign certain male attitudes and actions because they don't feel they have a choice, the power, the resources to do otherwise, then it's a problem. If men have the latitude to get this approval from women either by coërcion or trickery, then that's a problem.
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